[these kind of unintentionally form a series so....]





I [8/6/2019]

today
in the midst of floating bokeh
where the rain meets a thousand hearts and smiles
i thought about away, in many ways
a little sense of small in the middle of it all

it gets a bit mixed up,
what i'm trying to say
today was full of roses
because i believe
the garden calls

a sense of expansion, too
which seems the right opposite of the events
but i can only be here if i listen
if i let the flowers grow

a reminder, i am careful
although i don't have to,
i can promise you that
being new is as important as staying true,
or should i say
being new is being true is being you

today
where autumn and spring are one and the same
i simply stayed
hid a bit among pretty flowers
and said 'okay'.






II [21/4/2019]

didn't miss you today
but i don't remember you
how can you keep it all in your arms
i've been closing my eyes too much
i can make half of me stay focused
i can store things away
how do you keep i tall
i've been forgetting you
until later

heard your voice today
made me wish this was our every morning
and then over coffee i
thought about all the things
i've been thinking about
counting breaths, counting flowers
said i'll see you later
definitely
smiled for a second and then i had to go

how do you talk about it all
do you keep some things
only for me?
i still think about it, in the distance
you, the only cozy pace
our own little world with everything from outside

how do you hold it all together
while i'm here just
thinking about thinking
about when it is too much





III [today]

my heart drowns
is the fire lonelier?
i don't feel cold but i don't feel anything
if i could just melt or dissolve

your scent somehow-
i think of your voice
and everything that's pretty
i remember all the flowers
how they bloomed all at the same time
and then, i left

but you were waiting

does jupiter bring clarity
i am everything but i feel nothing
this ocean goes on forever
if only i could drift and dissolve

but the fire is still hopeful
as sparks ascend to the sky
somehow your scent, and the stars
a different kind of flowers and your eyes

and so i'm waiting
trying not to wait
only watching the waves
a small cosmos, and your name