[20180628]

im tired of solving puzzles,
my whole life's been trying to see in the dark
to focus on passing landscapes
get in here, get out there

and this comes into mind again:
no one knows what i do best

if i get better why dont i
get better

all these years are with me, believe me
i am new but i am also me
whether you see it or not
and it's not a cage anymore,
but it is something only i know

every time i got up on my feet
i did so closing my eyes for a bit
telling myself if you dont look at the sun
then its ok
if you got the sun in you, no matter
whether you see it shine

every time i got up on my feet i
did so letting go of something
or locking up small treasures
i never left an imprint, never cared to use my voice
most things i built on nothing
and still, i built them

and still,
it's all gone now

every time i got up on my feet
i shrugged or frowned
i put a smile on my face
i said i always win
not one time did i find the time,
the place to feel at ease
i did it all by myself despite myself
i know it was the only way
and i made it

but you know,
it's all gone now