Monday, June 29, 2009

esto lo subí ya veinte veces a veinte lugares diferentes, pero creo que pocas veces me describí tan bien.

[29 06 06]

la sombra líquida se desliza por tus manos imitando el juego de los pájaros en el atardecer de aquel día cuando me dijiste que nunca más, que para siempre y te quedaste.

i believed i could be more than just a stupid kid pretending to be a whore that pretends to be nice. i ask you why is my reflection cutting my sky with its stare, i ask you why your reflection is cutting my sky when stars rain and waves of light are suffocating my only shadow,
my ghost is crawling in your skin,
i ask you, cant you see it?
can you please, please ignore it?
ignore me-

now you'll keep me twirling around your sea
you know i got a spyglass
you know i got my dreamship

you know i'd break my cristal sphere
if you could understand
that i dont want to break the music
it's not me that's killing all the words
you built so recklessly

but right now you know i wont fail
i burnt my eyes for you once
i found you lost in a palace of grey

it's just a name,
scream at me,
it's just a name...

ese día que me esmero en guardar porque no hay otro, porque de lo contrario no habría días, ay ese día me hiciste caer
en tu cueva
encadenada pero sin darme cuenta porque
nunca dijiste
cuando insinuaste
que era cierta
cada palabra que construiste tan torpemente, fácilmente, rápidamente,

tu sombra gris y líquida por mis venas y ese día

behind my eyes
your song

es más de lo mismo, más de lo mismo y por eso quiero conservarlo,
lo viejo, desgastado, renovado, brilla, brilla, brilla, fluye pero por qué
por qué tuve que

i know-
i know it's just a name
i'm just a name expecting to
be your name
be like your name
your shadow

silver eyes
tell me
where am i
in your cave
in your cage
on the stage

acting like my name
your play
your shadow
falling like rain..


ah sí, y recién ahora me doy cuenta de que hoy es 29 del 06. já :D .

Friday, June 19, 2009

or maybe i should just shut up.

Monday, June 15, 2009

"let's get this over with", she said.
and so we did, and it felt better than any time before.
yet it was not love, there was something else...

more confusion to my dizzy head.
but with some strange feeling of satisfaction.

"now i'm the same as you".
nothing will change but everything is going to feel different.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

"i'll create something,
i wish this night was all for me

you inspire me
as my words expire

this is my masterpiece

i'm gonna create something you can't break

is it friday already?
thank god i don't have a life
on the other side of this road

there isn't a door to close anymore"

except then i walked in and i couldn't be me,
the air was thick as it's always been.

i can't stay here waiting.
i need action.
i need only me surrounding me.
"leave me alone!"

[i'll bite my tongue because all i really want to do is bite yours]

i came in and it went out
of me like a scream
but you'd never hear 'cause you're too busy talking
about something i won't listen to either

but you won't notice
because you're too busy speaking

jumping around and wasting around
the sweat's gotta be your ink
the mess is gonna show
but after it's well hidden
till i gain control

you're a freak but you fit so well
years of training aren't for nothing
you're bored and anxious but you fit so well
speaking calmly as you stare

the best and the worst
the bitter and the cold
what you forgot
and "what's going on?"

i know you better than yourself because i know your worst part
the one you can't hide and you'll never see
'cause it's in everything you do
it's all inside you and all around you
and it blurs your eyes
when you try to define
who you are

and so we stand and so we stare
and so you turn your back
but i won't come and find you
i won't surprise you because that's what you expect

(my mouth is shut,
dry from screaming the truth
when no one can hear me
surrounded by walls
made of all my mistakes

and the windows i look through
are just the things i never had
and they're getting blurry too
when i try to decide
who i am)

we betrayed ourselves and there's something we can't deny
we don't want to find out that things could go wrong
even if we do it right, and so
we betrayed ourselves and everyone else
and so we stand and we walk
as it runs through our veins

"i know we share something
and it'll always come down to this".


ending. right here. again and forever.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

[02 02 09]

maybe it's because i don't say it enough.

because i know that half of the times you won't understand.

but maybe i should take the chance.

because i'll never know how the other half feels.

i've always said empty is better than torn apart,
there's nothing to take away if there's nothing there.

but there's always something. we can't deny it.
i can say i saw it coming but it doesn't make it much more easy to deal with.

and maybe it's better the other way around,
so if they take something away i still have a lot.
or enough.

because now it's not enough.

maybe i think i'm giving everything, but i'm missing something.

i don't know.
someone explain myself to me.


i don't feel like i'm awake, but i'm not dreaming.

there's trust and there's love and there's laughter
and freedom
in here somewhere.

i don't say the words i used to
when they made it easy to fall to the ground
and made it hard to fall asleep.

i'm going to find them and let myself go
because i've already found the will
and i'm slowly gaining strenght.

and the parts i don't understand
and can't build or break
well i'm sure they're going to show
when i'm just myself again.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

[24 05 09]

yes, i get it, thank you.
i may screw up a lot but it's all part of the process, right?

yet there are some things i can't deny.

"look at me,
look for me,
look after me."

flying free is good but sometimes i need direction.

i might be missing the point.

it all melts down too quickly.
perspective changes so fast, even if i feel i've seen everything so many times
in so many ways-
not enough.

"i can predict the next carcrash",

the dust settles.
i open my eyes so slowly.
sometimes i don't think i could ever wake up.

i know you can see it in my eyes.
but sometimes you'd just rather not look.

it's funny how it all comes and goes.
but they only see a part of it and so they stare
but don't bother to ask.

my eyes close so slowly
i sometimes don't think
i can ever truly sleep again.

enjoy the simple things.
i can't stop dreaming and hating.
i can't stop loving.

(going back to numb
is so tempting.
but i've decided
i can be better.)

it all happens so fast while i change so
so slowly.
sometimes i think i could never dream again.
but i think i've decided
that maybe
i could be better.

expectations kill.
some surprises bring you back to life.

some words are useless but
sometimes one word is all you need.

destroy me or take my hand.
but don't you dare walk away.

i wasn't lying, it's just that
sometimes i forget who i am.

feeling like i'm late again.
comparing myself to everybody else,
it really doesn't change a thing.

comparing myself to who i used to be,
well it reminds me
this ride is too slow
but i'm still here,
and i keep moving-

but sometimes i need direction.
sometimes i need to feel it in my skin.
in my hands.
the earth in my feet.

i hope you don't see it in my eyes
if you'd rather not ask
or stay to listen.

flying free is good but sometimes i need a home
and new places to explore
without being just a shadow
of what's so long gone.


i can't believe how much i've learnt and how much i still have to learn.
how many paths i've walked, all that's still waiting for me
and all the things i'll never see or feel.